A Director’s Lot is Not a Happy One
A Director’s Lot is Not a Happy One
by Joel Gilmore
Sung to the tune of “When a felon’s not engaged in his employment” from The Pirates of Penzance. Written during my stint as the Sergeant of Police in QMT’s 2006 season. Replace “Preston” with the name of your director!
When an actor’s not engaged in his employment,
Or rehearsing from his oft misquoted script,
His capacity for causing Preston torment,
Is enough to send that pooor guy to his crypt!
Our chatt’rings he with difficulty smothers,
When announcements and announcements ([Spoken] and announcements, and announcements, and…) to be done!
Ah, take one consideration with another -
A director’s lot is not a happy one!
When a musical production’s to be done (to be done) a director’s lot is not a happy one!
When you have to shout so loud they call the cops ’round
When hte entrances and exits were mucked up
And the actors won’t stop moving all hte props ’round
(And) only laugh about htat scene they just fu…had trouble with!
When your G&S now sounds a lot like Mozart,
When on opening night the costumes now won’t fit,
Have a vodka, whisky, gin or try some Prozac,
[cos] A director’s lot is really kind of shi…(Cut off by the Ah-aah!)
[But!] When a musical production has been done (has been done) a director’s lot it is a happy one!
Happy one!